I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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