I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Randomize
