it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
