why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Just puked most of my soul out..
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