Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize