he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
