Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
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