Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Randomize
