If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
My vagina is very pro this idea
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