i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
