Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Randomize
