Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I need a beard to bite.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
