whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
