I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Your penis caused this!
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
