I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
