yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize