guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
