I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
You can't motorboat a personality
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
