idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
How external is "for external use only"?
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
