This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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