im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
im having a threesome with these popsicles
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
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