Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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