We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
