So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
