This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
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