Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
