When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
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