It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
