I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Randomize
