Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
