hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
