dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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