Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I have post one night stand depression
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