I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
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