If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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