I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
bring money and cleavage
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
did i just pee glitter
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
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