I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
