On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
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