hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
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