you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
