If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
