My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Randomize
