He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Randomize
