So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
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