how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
