Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Randomize
