Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
