YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Who wears a wallet chain?!
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
