theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
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