id be glad to
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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