i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
