are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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