My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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