***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I want to have your abortion
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Randomize
