i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
