I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
