everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
