She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
What a dumb baby whore.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
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