I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
