Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize